AND NOW, THE NEWS
Normally I do not watch the news because, lets face it, its all fake. I would rather watch a hollywod flick because at least they dont lie and say its real. Today however I needed a distraction as I ate my wondefully cooked ugali. There were some interesting stories
The headlines were about a scare that got the many (stupid) of us very scared. Someone had started a rumour that if you recieve a call from a certain unknown number you will die instantly. As if that is not enough, majority of us went on to believe such fuckery and asked the government for help ( like we always do) . So the government has declared it illegal to spread such fallacies and those caught will be done to somehting. I dont remember what exactly will be done. I was laughing so hard I almost choked.
Next on the line up was on the census issue. We ( me, you and the government) have been unable to explain the Somali count. They have tripled since the last censors. The government gave us the possibility of how this happened. Either the Somalis from Somalia have immigated illegally and assimilated with the Kenyan Somali, or the gestation period of a Somali woman is 3 months. The government is leaning torwards the latter.
Next was a bit shocking. A man of the Luo tribe ( according to the census, this is the third largest tribe in Kenya, but again the results may have been flawed) had hacked his family to death. Using a machete, he hacked the wife then his 3 children but not before raping his 16 year old daughter. Then disappeared. But the police caught him after an anonymous tip. Its always an anonymous tip with the police. Area residents were enraged demanding the police to let the fucker out so that they lynch him. But this was not possible according to the police. The cops said the the new bill of rights says that the murder has the right to court or something. So this got me wondering, before the new constitution, was it legal to actually kill a man by mob justice? The the new constitution is just a few days old so that means if this guy was caught last week it would not have been a big deal if he was tired, petroled then smoked.
And the finally the last one I saw was about a cat that ate an infant. This i found very not true. They say a cat sneaked into a maternity and ate a newly born baby. There is no footage to show the act. And they didnt mention whether the cat or the remains of the baby were found. So I am thinking the kid just got stolen and the mother being fed crap. I am so sorry for her.
And that has been todays television news, full of drama, full of horror but most importantly, full of shit. Until we meet again, I am Dexxe, for the This Is Bullshit News
The headlines were about a scare that got the many (stupid) of us very scared. Someone had started a rumour that if you recieve a call from a certain unknown number you will die instantly. As if that is not enough, majority of us went on to believe such fuckery and asked the government for help ( like we always do) . So the government has declared it illegal to spread such fallacies and those caught will be done to somehting. I dont remember what exactly will be done. I was laughing so hard I almost choked.
Next on the line up was on the census issue. We ( me, you and the government) have been unable to explain the Somali count. They have tripled since the last censors. The government gave us the possibility of how this happened. Either the Somalis from Somalia have immigated illegally and assimilated with the Kenyan Somali, or the gestation period of a Somali woman is 3 months. The government is leaning torwards the latter.
Next was a bit shocking. A man of the Luo tribe ( according to the census, this is the third largest tribe in Kenya, but again the results may have been flawed) had hacked his family to death. Using a machete, he hacked the wife then his 3 children but not before raping his 16 year old daughter. Then disappeared. But the police caught him after an anonymous tip. Its always an anonymous tip with the police. Area residents were enraged demanding the police to let the fucker out so that they lynch him. But this was not possible according to the police. The cops said the the new bill of rights says that the murder has the right to court or something. So this got me wondering, before the new constitution, was it legal to actually kill a man by mob justice? The the new constitution is just a few days old so that means if this guy was caught last week it would not have been a big deal if he was tired, petroled then smoked.
And the finally the last one I saw was about a cat that ate an infant. This i found very not true. They say a cat sneaked into a maternity and ate a newly born baby. There is no footage to show the act. And they didnt mention whether the cat or the remains of the baby were found. So I am thinking the kid just got stolen and the mother being fed crap. I am so sorry for her.
And that has been todays television news, full of drama, full of horror but most importantly, full of shit. Until we meet again, I am Dexxe, for the This Is Bullshit News
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