Two Fourteen

What did the green baboon say to the drowning raccoon? I don't know the answer to that question all I know is if you are a follower of this blog I have moved house. Blog Ya Dexxe The 254 Republican That is right. It comes a time when every campus blogger clears campus and has to show an improvement in life lest his followers think dumb of him. Either by stopping to blog all together or by switching to more boring (read mature) topics. Guess which one I opted for? That is right. None. I am switching all right but not content. More like location . Out of lack of better judgement, I went and bought myself a domain and hosting services. If you really know me you probably noticed that I insist on exaggerated designs. I hate these default themes. And blogger and  WordPress  could only let me customize so much. I only get the freedom I want by having a self hosted site. But that option is expensive and hate ads on my site. They make everything look confused e...

    The reason I watch movies sometimes is just because of the fight scenes. That is why I liked the scene with Bruce Willis and Cyril Rafaelli in Die Hard 4. I repeated that scene like 40 times. And that one of Maggie Q kicking Willis' ass. That was also fun to watch. Those scenes had a way of making you think that those guys actually did their own stunts. Which they probably did. I appreciate that in a movie. Yes CGI is cool but lets leave that to Michael Bay, shall we? seeeeeexy       In terms of fighting scenes, I hated great movies like the Bourne series. Everyone tells me I am crazy for hating it and I wouldn't know a good action scene if it hit me in the face. The jumping through windows and car chases were fine and all but the physical fights didn't really make me want to hit the replay button. Too many cut-scenes if you ask me. A fist is thrown then the scene cuts and you get to see the fist land on a face then scene cuts to show you the ...

   Then suddenly I heard about this new gadget by Google called Google Glasses . Essentially how they work is like this. They are lenses that act as a screen to keep showing you stuff like your G + notifications and the weather report and stream porn right before your eyes. It is really futuristic stuff and looks really awesome but when I first heard about them I didn’t see why I would want to have a pair to myself. I already wear glasses. So would I have to put The Google Glasses over my normal ones? that is really douchy, I thought. I already do that with 3D glasses and feel dumb enough. Thank God for the poor lighting in the movie theaters. And then there is the multitasking thing. I can actually picture the thought process of those Google Guys in my head. Yo Dawg. I heard that you like wearing glasses. So I put some glasses over your glasses so that you can see while you see. I have to be looking at and through my glasses at the same time. That is really hard for me and no...

Here is a strange dream I just woke up from. I am feeling pressed by pee (is that correct English) so I run to the toilet and find that it is occupied by a family member. I quickly hurry to my parents room to use the second bathroom. Only to get there and realize that there is no second bathroom. I see a hole on the top corner of the bed drawer and my dream brain tells me it's okay to pee there. I start pissing and halfway through I hear piss hitting the floor. That is when my brain goes like 'This is not the toilet'. No shit. I hurry back to the real bathroom and this time the member is out. Not my member. The family member that was using the toilet. I am about to walk in when I hear my mom's voice in the living room. She had just arrived. I run to my sister's room looking for a mop. Could it find any. I run to Mom's room to see what I can use to clean up. Time is running out because I hear her voice louder every minute. She is talking to my kid bro. Telli...

Seven months of struggling, sweating, late nights and a lot of shillings later, I am through with my field report. Hot damn it feels good. Hot damn, it’s been long. I had even forgotten about the field study. It was in August last year, in the wilderness, for 40 28 days. Remember that? Probably not. The field work was hard and long but the report writing should have not even taken more than 2 weeks. We could have been through with it by September, but this being a third world country, our labs lacked equipment for analyzing samples and we had to take them to the government labs, and we all know how those are. Add high levels of procrastinations to that and you have report of 60 pages taking a whole 6 months to write. Kenya. Anyway, 3 weeks ago, we finally got all the data we needed and truthfully, that is when the real report writing began. On the day of handing in the reports however we were hit with something we didn’t expect. Together with the hard copy (which cost an arm and 3 fin...

     Actually it is-slash-was my mom’s laptop. It is a Dell Inspiron 1501.  This shit is more than 4 years old and still works. Well, kinda works. Half the RAM disappeared and the DVD-ROM stopped working. Like they do on all Dells. The screen has a blue line along it and the battery cannot store enough power to click Save. Yes. The battery is so bad that if you unplug the power the machine goes off faster than an incandescent bulb. Poof. That is very annoying when you typing a document but very useful when you are about to be caught watching porn.       I have tried my best to fix it. Changed the hard drive to 250 gig. From 40. Seriously Dell, what were you thinking? Vista cant even boot on 40 Gb of space.I bought another DVDROM, but I expect it to end anytime. Already it has started producing grunting noises when reading disks. Its like it doesn’t approve what is in them diskises. To a point that it has started creeping me out. It only ...

     Every time I slipped off to sleep I would find myself getting choked by a baby. This happened repeatedly until I figured I was in a stupid (read wierd) dream. How can a baby be strong enough to choke me? I figured it was best to avoid drifting off to sleep for while because the next time that baby chokes me I might not wake up in time.      I lay there waiting to see if this killer baby would let me sleep. Thinking happy thoughts. I cannot remember those happy thoughts. Probably thoughts of me choking my aunt. After what seemed like forever I decided to give sleep another go. Immediately I closed my eyes, there was the baby. Floating over me, ready. What the hell? I was not even asleep yet. Had I brought this baby out of dreamland into real life? I opened my eyes again to try and figure out what was happening. The only logical solution was that I was still dreaming. Damn. I hate when this happens. I was trapped in a dream with a strangler cra...

    I had a weird dream today! Not last night. Today. Because I only sleep in the morning. I find it hard to sleep before midnight so that sort of translates to: I never sleep at night. Just mornings!! Morning to me is from 0000hrs by the way. Anyway, the dream. Like I said (where?) it is very inexplicable. I feel like of late when I fall asleep I am not enjoying my own beauty sleep but someone else's. I am sleeping on behalf of people. Or I am sleeping for people. I do not even get which it is. I happen not to know these people ( unfortunately) but I get to choose them. So its pretty random. Its like I sleep there and get displayed a scrolling list then I go like 'lets try this'. And when I get bored I just come out of the dream and choose another. Today however, I got stuck in the freaking dream and it got very uncomfortable.     I dreamt (as someone else) that we were about to con a certain rich fat man in order to steal his money. The plan was going ver...

    Remember back in high school when waking up was a split second thing? Because the deputy headteacher or whoever would come inside the dorms whacking everybody with a metal rod if the siren (read bell, if you were in a slightly good school) stopped wailing and you are still in bed. The sound of the siren would start a chain reaction in your body causing your adrenaline to spike up at 5 am in the freaking morning. You would get out of bed, stop dreaming put on the shoes ( you slept in your uniform), open  your eyes then run to class. And not necessarily in that order. Man , years after finishing high school a siren still drains my adrenaline.     If you never had such an experience, then you must have gone to an expensive school. Or you are the few lot that set an alarm clock to wake you earlier than the siren so that no surprises and no waste of adrenaline which you would use later to run away from those senior bullies during Beef Tuesday.  ...