Two Fourteen

    After I hung up, I had to replay the phone call in my head because I had no idea what I had agreed to. You know your nephew is finished with primary school so he has to borrow you permission to become a man? Oh, Yeah. No Problem So you will be there on Saturday? Sure no problem. For those that still think we use a piece of rock     I have to stop picking calls when I am preoccupied with something else. I am not good at multitasking. No really, I am not.       It took me a while to get what my cousin was going on about. I am my nephew's uncle. That I knew. So why should I give him permission to finish school. Is this a custom I had skipped? I don't remember doing that shit when I finished Class 8. All I did after finishing my K.C.P.E  was... oh wait. Oh shit.     My nephew needed to ask my permission to become a man. Now I got it. Nigga was going to get circumcised. How did I not understand that? Oh yeah, I did not do t...

This post is continued from here (The tales of the wretched soul hunter) . It might be good for continuity’s sake to read that post before this.         Just when I thought I had something clever to say she and her friend stood up. They had arrived at their destination. She said a quick thanks and alighted, leaving me without telling me her name and feeling like I wasted a chance of a lifetime.       My friends however seemed to disagree. Some even insisted that it was she that wasted a chance to steal my phone. Because I am oh so stupid. Handing out my phone  to a a girl just because I thought she was hot! I deserved to be stolen for. Apparently I am very gullible when it comes to chicks I imagine as hot or pretty. I of course do not agree but they sort of had a point. What if she had taken it and threw it out of the window to her on waiting friend? What then? Could I have hit her? Could I have screamed thief while point...

     I was woken up early today. Not by the cold. I figured a way of not getting woken up by the cold. Its simple really. Sleep with clothes on. For some reason, that was not obvious to me. I have spent many a nights shivering in this bed because it was freezing and this blanket could not muster all the heat I demanded from it. So in short, no more sleeping in boxers.      Last night, my door broke off its hinges. If you look at the picture, you'd think a swat team had kicked it in or something. It was nothing of that sort. Gideon was closing it on his way out gently when it fell off. Either the door is very old, or Gideon has super human abilities. Either way yesterday I had to sleep with the door wide open. I had to booby trap in such a way that if someone came in unannounced, he would trip the door causing to crush with a thundering thud and that noise would hopefully wake me up and prevent getting thiefed. How old is this hostel?    ...

     I am not one to generalise. So I hate stereotyping. It is just that in Kenya stereotyping what we love to do. And hot damn it has reached a point that it is funny as hell. Take tribal stereotyping for instance. My tribe can be said to be Kikuyu so I am a mkikuyu aka msapere (in slang/shen'g). Wasapere (which is the plural of msapere) are 'known' to love money so much that they are thieves in nature. They will steal anything in order to make money. money-oriented is what they are. They have been known to fake being of another tribe just to make money.      This is how. See in Kenya tourism is kinda catchy with them Whiteys loving to visit for the cool weather , the scenery and the culture. And the latter is where a Kikuyu comes in. Since we have been affected by the western culture, most of our traditions have been wiped out. It has been so eroded that we wear clothes these days. Yeah. That bad. Only very few tribes still hold on to their culture, one ...