SHILLI-TRIP [Kenyan EuroTrip] Part II

This post is continued from here (The tales of the wretched soul hunter). It might be good for continuity’s sake to read that post before this.

        Just when I thought I had something clever to say she and her friend stood up. They had arrived at their destination. She said a quick thanks and alighted, leaving me without telling me her name and feeling like I wasted a chance of a lifetime.
      My friends however seemed to disagree. Some even insisted that it was she that wasted a chance to steal my phone. Because I am oh so stupid. Handing out my phone  to a a girl just because I thought she was hot! I deserved to be stolen for. Apparently I am very gullible when it comes to chicks I imagine as hot or pretty. I of course do not agree but they sort of had a point. What if she had taken it and threw it out of the window to her on waiting friend? What then? Could I have hit her? Could I have screamed thief while pointing to her? Who would have believed me, a thin awkward looking tall boy over the fine piece of creation? Definitely not the males that would have ended up kicking my ass for the ‘false accusation’. Men think too much with their dicks. That is supposed to make us smarter, you know, because two heads are better than one, but we sometimes are not that smart. The lower head is never for thinking/reasoning.

     Which brought us talking about a new way that guys are getting their phones stolen these days. New in the sense that I had never heard of it. Maybe you have not either so hear me out. You are on a bus heading home. Those seriously long-ass bus rides not that 20 minute drive to a place like The House. I am talking of the driving out of Nairobi kind of long. Say to a place like Karen or Rongai. You are in a huge 67-seater bus not the small 28-seater minibuses like the one I was in.As you are boarding the bus a fine chick asks to use your phone to urgently call someone to meet her at her stop. Let's assume you are not feeling kind of assholish so you decide to help out this PYT. She tries to call but it doesn't go through. She's like thanks anyway and leaves to take her seat. You are like at least I didn't lose my credit and take your seat. The journey begins. Halfway through, when everyone around you has forgotten your kind gesture due to the long-ass trip, a nigga at the back of the bus starts shouting. He has lost his phone in the bus. Someone must have pickpocketed him. Another bastard gives this nigga his phone and asks him to try and call the lost phone to check and see if the thief is still on board. The whole bus keeps silence waiting for a ring sound .All of a sudden your phone is ringing. That new Ashawo tune that you so love (the one your friends say they will kick your ass if they hear it one more time). Before you can react, the nigga is like 'MWIZI!!!' Before you even get a drift of what is happening you get punched so hard in the face you cant talk. You try fighting back and this just makes it easier for the thugs to frame you. They demand the bus to be stopped and you and the nigga and the bastard get off. The bus leaves you as they go on to steal your wallet, watch, iPod, test-tube holder and shoes. Then leave you in the middle of nowhere at night with a broken nose and with the tarmac ripping your socks as you try to figure out what the fuck just happened. You don't even notice a second pair of thugs coming your way hoping to rob you of what is left.
     What I am trying to say is this. If you are a hot pretty chick and you do not use your talent to steal from rich unsuspecting dicktards, you are wasting yourself. No seriously you are.