Two Fourteen

     Actually it is-slash-was my mom’s laptop. It is a Dell Inspiron 1501.  This shit is more than 4 years old and still works. Well, kinda works. Half the RAM disappeared and the DVD-ROM stopped working. Like they do on all Dells. The screen has a blue line along it and the battery cannot store enough power to click Save. Yes. The battery is so bad that if you unplug the power the machine goes off faster than an incandescent bulb. Poof. That is very annoying when you typing a document but very useful when you are about to be caught watching porn.       I have tried my best to fix it. Changed the hard drive to 250 gig. From 40. Seriously Dell, what were you thinking? Vista cant even boot on 40 Gb of space.I bought another DVDROM, but I expect it to end anytime. Already it has started producing grunting noises when reading disks. Its like it doesn’t approve what is in them diskises. To a point that it has started creeping me out. It only ...

     Some guys assume that since I know what USB stands for, I am a computer guru. As a matter of fact, I have done no professional computer classes. I did MS Word. Does that count? Not to me it does not. But still people assume I know everything. Truth is I know enough.  Ian asked me to take him buy a good new computer for 30K. I did not know such  place but I made some few calls and got a place. There was a core 2 duo Pavillion dv6 for 36K and a Core 2 Duo Vostro for 32K. Problem was Ian wanted a brand new laptop. The ones which he opens the box and shit. The kind of shit that you buy from Safaricom. Overpriced computers with nothing of value. This shop we were in had no such laptops because they only dealt with mostly high end stuff.       But he did want either because they did not come in a box. For all he cared, they were used. All we wanted to do was unwrap a new computer himself. Why? Because that is what the sister wanted....

      Jesus Christ! Did I just misspell the word QWERTY? On a fucking computer keyboard? I need help.  The time now is 6 am. I woke up at fucking 6 on a fucking Saturday. I just found it hard to sleep anymore. And I do not think I slept that early! So what is keeping me up? Its hard to tell.       Since my classes had ended unofficially, I got a friend to hook me up with an entertainment gadget to pass time with. He had the Nokia N97 to spare so it was mine  for like 2 days. At first I found this phone very annoying. It is fully touch and with a slide of a qwerty keyboard. The thing I find annoying is this: Why have both? If a phone has a fully functioning keyboard, why get charged extra to have the screen be fully touch sensitive? Or vice versa? Maybe I am just hating but until I stop, I do not think I can get overcharged for such gimmickry. But I have always hated both qwerty and touch phones. So I think the combination of bo...

     What the hell is wrong with my Natasha? Keep getting an error message whenever I try to run office. I got a report to write. I do not need such stress. Now look. I cannot access my lecture notes. Great. Its not like I wanted to pass my exams or anything. And then there is the issue with my pictures. All the photos taken undercover of campus girls doing nasty things to each other during their showers at night. Gone. Now I have to masturbate from memory. And we all know how whack my memory is. Fuck Windows.

    I had a weird dream today! Not last night. Today. Because I only sleep in the morning. I find it hard to sleep before midnight so that sort of translates to: I never sleep at night. Just mornings!! Morning to me is from 0000hrs by the way. Anyway, the dream. Like I said (where?) it is very inexplicable. I feel like of late when I fall asleep I am not enjoying my own beauty sleep but someone else's. I am sleeping on behalf of people. Or I am sleeping for people. I do not even get which it is. I happen not to know these people ( unfortunately) but I get to choose them. So its pretty random. Its like I sleep there and get displayed a scrolling list then I go like 'lets try this'. And when I get bored I just come out of the dream and choose another. Today however, I got stuck in the freaking dream and it got very uncomfortable.     I dreamt (as someone else) that we were about to con a certain rich fat man in order to steal his money. The plan was going ver...

     Someone once said that the true definition of the nature of addiction , lies phonetically within the word itself - A Dick in Action. This is probably the same retard that said that if you assume then you make an ass out of u   and me . I think this guy was addicted to making up funny etymologies.      Someone else defined an addiction as a habit that one cannot easily quit. This is one whack definition. It implies that I am addicted to breathing.      Me, the way I see it, an addiction is the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. Of course that is what Dictionary.com also thinks but that is not the point. Point is. There are many types of addictions and everyone has their own kind. Some of which I will expertly categorise for you. Find out where yours lies. Normal-Nasty Addic...