Two Fourteen

      It was a chilly brisk, virulent, acoustically pleasing Saturday night. The stars were lined astronomically to cast virulent light across this virulent work of art that is Kenya.      Remember them primary school days when you had to write compositions like this or else don’t score both with the marks or the ladies .Yeah . The good old 90s.      Fast forward to this millennium. Saturday the twenty ninth, 2010 at 23.33.45. Wait. Now its 23.33.53. No shit. now the time is 23.34.09. Crap. But I guess you are getting my point, which is…. I hate my aunt. This is the decentest photo of Ms Guerra I could find.      I am lying on my bed looking the ceiling, but my view is blocked by the numerous mosquitoes circling me like hungry vultures waiting impatiently for the lights to be switched off or for me to sleep off. Whichever comes first. I normally don’t go out for raves on weekends because….. Vida Guerra is h...

      Back in high school we had really shitty toilets. No pun intended. This is literal. They were just full of themselves. You had to strip down to your bare minimum (boxers) just to avoid taking the stench out with you. And those were just the latrines. Do not get me started on the WC's. First of all, I don't get it. The toilet bowl is as wide as hell's gate. How the FUCK do you miss that shot from a range of 3 inches. No seriously, explain that to me. Do you actually take a dump then remove it and smear it on the floor?      Skipping forward.      There this one time, I timed just when the cleaners had done their magic and went in to enjoy my metime . Seconds later, a loud knock. 'KUBU KUBU KUBU' (because the door is wooden and rotting)         Now, instead of being my usual self and shouting my ' kuna mtu!!! ' to let him know it was occupied (by me) and then getting ready to block the door from opening just in case he...