THINGS GIRLS MAKE US DO
Some guys assume that since I know what USB stands for, I am a computer guru. As a matter of fact, I have done no professional computer classes. I did MS Word. Does that count? Not to me it does not. But still people assume I know everything. Truth is I know enough. Ian asked me to take him buy a good new computer for 30K. I did not know such place but I made some few calls and got a place. There was a core 2 duo Pavillion dv6 for 36K and a Core 2 Duo Vostro for 32K. Problem was Ian wanted a brand new laptop. The ones which he opens the box and shit. The kind of shit that you buy from Safaricom. Overpriced computers with nothing of value. This shop we were in had no such laptops because they only dealt with mostly high end stuff.
But he did want either because they did not come in a box. For all he cared, they were used. All we wanted to do was unwrap a new computer himself. Why? Because that is what the sister wanted. She had sent him with those specific instructions. New computer for 30k. And she did not want a mini. This request was meant with blank stares. But still, I know how some girls can be. My sister cannot eat a biscuit from a box if it comes out broken. Even just in half. She cannot. I tried to get what logic there was in that. Yes the biscuit is broken but you have both halves so why cry? She tried explaining but ended up arguing. And then she beat me up. We were kids.
So I somehow understood why Ian needed to buy his sis a super brand new laptop. There is something about opening stuff yourself that almost makes it worth double its price. But problem is, she could not afford double the price. And if she did the computer had retarded specs. A Celeron processor. That is only good if you want a computer for lighting up your room with its screen. Try playing a HD video on that shit and the screen cracks. A brand new one costs over 40K.
So we needed to convince Ian to convince her sister to take a powerful computer instead of a new one. It took a while. A long long while. After which the sister could not be convinced but Ian had already seen the logic. The Core 2 Duos could play Need For Speed and the Celeron could not. He needed no further convincing. So now what to do about the sister? Well. How could she tell it was new? If it comes with a box right? We couldn't get a box so the dealer tried spicing it but with a new laptop bag instead. Still it did not make the computer new. But then again it did not look old either. Its just that it had stayed up on display for so long until it had gathered dust. So if it was cleaned...
Ten minutes later, after buying computer cleaning stuff, the damned Dell Vostro was shining like a fucking Supra. The buttons were dusted, screen cleaned to remove any fingerprint and the OS reinstalled. If I was not there when it happened I could have sworn that computer had just come out of a box. So that is how these sneaky dealers do it!? Now I know. For effect, he even wrapped it in a polythene wrapper. Apparently that is how new computers come wrapped. I would not know. I never buy new things.
So now the computer looked new and we hoped it would please the sister. We stood there. Around five men and a lady. Not believing what we were doing. We were trying to trick a girl into buying something better than what she wanted. It felt right. And that is how the deal was closed. A newish Core 2 Duo Vostro with 3 Gb RAM and 320 gig hard drive for the price she expected a super new Celeron Toshiba with the memory of a rat.
So all I am saying is, ladies if you do not know about something, be ready to learn from people who do.
Ps. Conversion rates. I USD = 90 KenSh
But he did want either because they did not come in a box. For all he cared, they were used. All we wanted to do was unwrap a new computer himself. Why? Because that is what the sister wanted. She had sent him with those specific instructions. New computer for 30k. And she did not want a mini. This request was meant with blank stares. But still, I know how some girls can be. My sister cannot eat a biscuit from a box if it comes out broken. Even just in half. She cannot. I tried to get what logic there was in that. Yes the biscuit is broken but you have both halves so why cry? She tried explaining but ended up arguing. And then she beat me up. We were kids.
So I somehow understood why Ian needed to buy his sis a super brand new laptop. There is something about opening stuff yourself that almost makes it worth double its price. But problem is, she could not afford double the price. And if she did the computer had retarded specs. A Celeron processor. That is only good if you want a computer for lighting up your room with its screen. Try playing a HD video on that shit and the screen cracks. A brand new one costs over 40K.
So we needed to convince Ian to convince her sister to take a powerful computer instead of a new one. It took a while. A long long while. After which the sister could not be convinced but Ian had already seen the logic. The Core 2 Duos could play Need For Speed and the Celeron could not. He needed no further convincing. So now what to do about the sister? Well. How could she tell it was new? If it comes with a box right? We couldn't get a box so the dealer tried spicing it but with a new laptop bag instead. Still it did not make the computer new. But then again it did not look old either. Its just that it had stayed up on display for so long until it had gathered dust. So if it was cleaned...
Ten minutes later, after buying computer cleaning stuff, the damned Dell Vostro was shining like a fucking Supra. The buttons were dusted, screen cleaned to remove any fingerprint and the OS reinstalled. If I was not there when it happened I could have sworn that computer had just come out of a box. So that is how these sneaky dealers do it!? Now I know. For effect, he even wrapped it in a polythene wrapper. Apparently that is how new computers come wrapped. I would not know. I never buy new things.
So now the computer looked new and we hoped it would please the sister. We stood there. Around five men and a lady. Not believing what we were doing. We were trying to trick a girl into buying something better than what she wanted. It felt right. And that is how the deal was closed. A newish Core 2 Duo Vostro with 3 Gb RAM and 320 gig hard drive for the price she expected a super new Celeron Toshiba with the memory of a rat.
So all I am saying is, ladies if you do not know about something, be ready to learn from people who do.
Ps. Conversion rates. I USD = 90 KenSh
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