CLICK HERE TO MANAGE YOUR ADDICTIONS
Someone once said that the true definition of the nature of addiction, lies phonetically within the word itself - A Dick in Action. This is probably the same retard that said that if you assume then you make an ass out of u and me. I think this guy was addicted to making up funny etymologies.
Someone else defined an addiction as a habit that one cannot easily quit. This is one whack definition. It implies that I am addicted to breathing.
Me, the way I see it, an addiction is the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. Of course that is what Dictionary.com also thinks but that is not the point. Point is. There are many types of addictions and everyone has their own kind. Some of which I will expertly categorise for you. Find out where yours lies.
Normal-Nasty Addictions
These are the cliche ones. Everyone knows someone with it and is ashamed of it.Like alcohol addiction. Which implies your daily ambition is to drown your blood because it is clogging up your alcohol system and causing you to take too long to get drunk.
Or maybe your crack cocaine addiction has got you out of school to be some dealer's strawberry. All you do is suck cocks for crack and answering to 'Yo Bitch'.
Or the oh so obvious porn addiction. Which would mean your vision has upgraded to version 2.0. Ability to see how everyone will look like naked. You have gone on to effortlessly remember names of every mandingo and nympho there is. The only big screen movies you watch are the ones that have XXX parodies. By the way Sex and the City 2 XXX parody is out and it stars Cherokee D'Ass as that lead character that talks more to herself than she does to other people. Break a wrist nigga. Break a wrist.
Weed addiction would be on this list if it actually was harmful. But is not. Its its natural and green so its herbal. And my mom has always been telling me to eat my greens. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I smoked them also.
Weird Addictions
I read somewhere of this man that was addicted to going to funerals. Since his dad died he has being going out of his way to attend random funerals. Even quit his job to enable him feed his addiction. I guess to the world this would count as weird but here in Kenya we have seen such. But not to the extreme like that man. Here, people go to strangers' funerals just for the free food. They will even cry and scream louder than the actual mourners. Yet they did not bother learning the name of the deceased.
There is this Jocelyn lady that got addicted to plastic surgery. Spent over 4 US mil on it actually problem is she kept looking worse with every slice. She looks her face has been used as a sandpaper.Disaster is what that is. And apparently she is not the only one. Another in China injected cooking oil in her face when her doctors insisted not to do anymore facial reconstructive surgeries. If such an addiction should reach high levels i suggest they add a genre in porn for such freaks, just under fetishes
Sounds-cool-but-is-not Addiction
Sex addiction. If you think this addiction sounds cool. Its probably because you think you have it. Most of you are just normal perverts or adolescent accidents. But if you are over 30 and still pay for sex more often than you pay for gas, or enjoy sex with strangers and cannot maintain your relationship because you cannot stop cheating ,then its time to hit the rehab. They say such addiction may progress from or to other addictions like drug abuse and alcoholism. And lead to social evils like prostitution and child molestation. When you look at it like that it does not sound cool now, does it?
David Duchovny actually went to rehab because of his sex addiction. But I do not blame the nigga. He plays the lead role in a show about fornication in California. A Showtime production. Everyone that stars in a Showtime show is bound to follow suite. Um, Mia Kirshner darling? Are you the one addicted to fucking everyone (both male and female) or is it Jenny Schecter? I'm just saying. I just find it weird that every thing I see you in, you play a bisexual. Even in 24. Come on.
My Addictions
Now here is were my shrink would have a field day. They are so many that I cannot exhaust them all. Like the fact that I always fantasise about eating fries from this one takeaway joint at home. The amount of money I have spent there could have built me my own restaurant by now. I would it call it Fantasy Fries? Does that name sound too weird? Well its better than the fish and chips place called Sweat Shop. Who actually eats there. And do the fries come already salted?
I recently discovered I really enjoy brushing my teeth hard till my gums bleed. Something about the pain and the taste of blood gets me off. Here is to hoping that wont turn into an addiction. #clink#.
I have finally come to terms with the fact that I an addicted to earphones. Cannot live without them in my ears or hanging on my T-shirts collar. I feel naked without them. They spoil so easily since they are fakes so I keep buying them like every month. I should just original ones and stop faking. Anyone know where I can get Creative earbuds for less than 10 dollars? Hook me up please.
There are many more but I guess my major addiction would be technology addiction. This addiction is so broad my shrink would probably split it into countless addictions.
Computer addiction. I am addicted not only to using computers but also looking at them, in shops, Internet, etc.Should I get money to waste I will start a PC museum to showcase all the greatest PC ever. I really think this is a super serious addiction. Why else would drug addicts and computer aficionados be called users?
Internet addiction. I am betting I am not the only one. So you know exactly what I am saying. I am so addicted to using the Internet to the point that my ISP provider on speed dial.
Facebook addiction. I think there are many kinds of Facebook addiction/disorder. I get a slow blood circulation when I do not update 'what is on my mind' every two minutes. Call the post button my adrenaline. It makes the blood rush through my veins. Others, change their names to nonsensical shit like MiBeat Up DiPussy. I am also one of them. But in my defence, Facebook could not let me change it to a normal Dexxe so i had to get D'extra creative in coming up with D'exceptionally weird names that do not D'exist. Others still, like my sister, are addicted to Inbox(1). So much she has set her homepage to be facebook.com/inbox . She rarely goes to Facebook home. Because that is time she could be using to reply the inbox she just received. Some have the addiction of adding as many 'friends' as possible yet they are not celebrities. 3252 friends is just a way to make up for the lack of actual friends if you ask me. Or I could just be acting up cos I cannot get over 200 friends. People keep deleting and blocking me. I wonder if it has something to do with speaking what is on my mind without giving two fucks whose feelings I will hurt. Anyway, I have also heard that some are addicted to uploading their pictures. You probably have such friends. Same exact pose from picture 1 to 76 of 343.What about updating googled statuses (statii?) then pretending you came up with them all by yourself? I stopped this. The notifications and the likes also stopped. But in actuality, statuses updated after googling are very hilarious. Not original, but hilarious. So why stop? Its not like Facebook is a publishing company where plagiarism is sin.
Mobile phone addiction. This one is slowly fading but there was a time Nokia had to call to ask which 4 digit number hadn't they used so that they give it to their new phone. Starting from the features of the 1000 series to the one I lost 6131 to the 9900 series. I knew them all. And not just Nokias. All major brands. Sony Ericsson being my most favourite and the China fakes my least favourite. As fate would have it, I currently own a China phone. This addiction is being replaced by computer addiction. By the way have you guys seen the new Nokia N8? I would not kill to have it but sure looks better than the iPhone. I hate Apple products. Remind me to tell you why later.
Why was I forgetting my blogging addiction? I have countless blogs. 325235 of which I have forgotten their passwords. And I spent like the best part of this and last week trying to put Facebook features on this site. Do that shit is harder than Pam Anderson titties during winter. But then again, its not like I have ever studied any profession computer course. I was just using Google as my reference book aka teacher aka examiner aka mwakenya (crib sheets).
With all these addictions I wish there was a button in the brain that I activate and manage how much my addiction controls me and my time, but sadly that is only possible in James Cameron movies. So I have to find another any to get my shit together. But as of now, I do not believe that any of my addiction are too
What are your weirdest addictions? Do share.
Someone else defined an addiction as a habit that one cannot easily quit. This is one whack definition. It implies that I am addicted to breathing.
Me, the way I see it, an addiction is the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. Of course that is what Dictionary.com also thinks but that is not the point. Point is. There are many types of addictions and everyone has their own kind. Some of which I will expertly categorise for you. Find out where yours lies.
Normal-Nasty Addictions
 |
| You probably have one of this in your home . |
Or maybe your crack cocaine addiction has got you out of school to be some dealer's strawberry. All you do is suck cocks for crack and answering to 'Yo Bitch'.
Or the oh so obvious porn addiction. Which would mean your vision has upgraded to version 2.0. Ability to see how everyone will look like naked. You have gone on to effortlessly remember names of every mandingo and nympho there is. The only big screen movies you watch are the ones that have XXX parodies. By the way Sex and the City 2 XXX parody is out and it stars Cherokee D'Ass as that lead character that talks more to herself than she does to other people. Break a wrist nigga. Break a wrist.
Weed addiction would be on this list if it actually was harmful. But is not. Its its natural and green so its herbal. And my mom has always been telling me to eat my greens. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I smoked them also.
Weird Addictions
I read somewhere of this man that was addicted to going to funerals. Since his dad died he has being going out of his way to attend random funerals. Even quit his job to enable him feed his addiction. I guess to the world this would count as weird but here in Kenya we have seen such. But not to the extreme like that man. Here, people go to strangers' funerals just for the free food. They will even cry and scream louder than the actual mourners. Yet they did not bother learning the name of the deceased.
 |
| jocelyn wildenstein |
Sounds-cool-but-is-not Addiction
Sex addiction. If you think this addiction sounds cool. Its probably because you think you have it. Most of you are just normal perverts or adolescent accidents. But if you are over 30 and still pay for sex more often than you pay for gas, or enjoy sex with strangers and cannot maintain your relationship because you cannot stop cheating ,then its time to hit the rehab. They say such addiction may progress from or to other addictions like drug abuse and alcoholism. And lead to social evils like prostitution and child molestation. When you look at it like that it does not sound cool now, does it?
 |
| David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson just chilling. |
My Addictions
Now here is were my shrink would have a field day. They are so many that I cannot exhaust them all. Like the fact that I always fantasise about eating fries from this one takeaway joint at home. The amount of money I have spent there could have built me my own restaurant by now. I would it call it Fantasy Fries? Does that name sound too weird? Well its better than the fish and chips place called Sweat Shop. Who actually eats there. And do the fries come already salted?
I recently discovered I really enjoy brushing my teeth hard till my gums bleed. Something about the pain and the taste of blood gets me off. Here is to hoping that wont turn into an addiction. #clink#.
 |
| Buy me these earphones please. |
 |
| poor kid. |
Computer addiction. I am addicted not only to using computers but also looking at them, in shops, Internet, etc.Should I get money to waste I will start a PC museum to showcase all the greatest PC ever. I really think this is a super serious addiction. Why else would drug addicts and computer aficionados be called users?
Internet addiction. I am betting I am not the only one. So you know exactly what I am saying. I am so addicted to using the Internet to the point that my ISP provider on speed dial.
Facebook addiction. I think there are many kinds of Facebook addiction/disorder. I get a slow blood circulation when I do not update 'what is on my mind' every two minutes. Call the post button my adrenaline. It makes the blood rush through my veins. Others, change their names to nonsensical shit like MiBeat Up DiPussy. I am also one of them. But in my defence, Facebook could not let me change it to a normal Dexxe so i had to get D'extra creative in coming up with D'exceptionally weird names that do not D'exist. Others still, like my sister, are addicted to Inbox(1). So much she has set her homepage to be facebook.com/inbox . She rarely goes to Facebook home. Because that is time she could be using to reply the inbox she just received. Some have the addiction of adding as many 'friends' as possible yet they are not celebrities. 3252 friends is just a way to make up for the lack of actual friends if you ask me. Or I could just be acting up cos I cannot get over 200 friends. People keep deleting and blocking me. I wonder if it has something to do with speaking what is on my mind without giving two fucks whose feelings I will hurt. Anyway, I have also heard that some are addicted to uploading their pictures. You probably have such friends. Same exact pose from picture 1 to 76 of 343.What about updating googled statuses (statii?) then pretending you came up with them all by yourself? I stopped this. The notifications and the likes also stopped. But in actuality, statuses updated after googling are very hilarious. Not original, but hilarious. So why stop? Its not like Facebook is a publishing company where plagiarism is sin. |
| Nokia N8 |
Why was I forgetting my blogging addiction? I have countless blogs. 325235 of which I have forgotten their passwords. And I spent like the best part of this and last week trying to put Facebook features on this site. Do that shit is harder than Pam Anderson titties during winter. But then again, its not like I have ever studied any profession computer course. I was just using Google as my reference book aka teacher aka examiner aka mwakenya (crib sheets).
With all these addictions I wish there was a button in the brain that I activate and manage how much my addiction controls me and my time, but sadly that is only possible in James Cameron movies. So I have to find another any to get my shit together. But as of now, I do not believe that any of my addiction are too
What are your weirdest addictions? Do share.
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