I LOVE MY LAPTOP
Actually it is-slash-was my mom’s laptop. It is a Dell Inspiron 1501. This shit is more than 4 years old and still works. Well, kinda works. Half the RAM disappeared and the DVD-ROM stopped working. Like they do on all Dells. The screen has a blue line along it and the battery cannot store enough power to click Save. Yes. The battery is so bad that if you unplug the power the machine goes off faster than an incandescent bulb. Poof. That is very annoying when you typing a document but very useful when you are about to be caught watching porn.
I have tried my best to fix it. Changed the hard drive to 250 gig. From 40. Seriously Dell, what were you thinking? Vista cant even boot on 40 Gb of space.I bought another DVDROM, but I expect it to end anytime. Already it has started producing grunting noises when reading disks. Its like it doesn’t approve what is in them diskises. To a point that it has started creeping me out. It only grunts when I am reading porn. The rest it reads quietly. Even pirated music, so I take that to be a good thing.
It now has only 512 Mb of RAM. From 1GB. Lord only knows where the other 512 Mb went to. Him and the repair man that fixed my ROM. Is it relevant to point out that the repair man is a Msapere? Probably not. So now the machine is slower than than my sister. When you click on , say, a folder, the machine first hangs then it shows a symbols that usually symbolises ‘please wait for the please wait icon to start’ . Double waiting time. Of course it does not help that I am running Windows 7 with Aero graphics on.
Did I mention that it has a whack charger. Yep. Came back from the repair shop with a switched charger. Instead of my very original one, now I have a larger, lighter and a very unoriginal (China?) one. And this one is noisier than my ROM. It crackles like a camp fire whenever it connected in the socket and the machine at both ends. But if it just in the socket it is quiet as a mouse. That is why I did not realize it had a problem. When picking it from the BUY-ONE-GET-ALL-STOLEN REPAIR SHOP, he only connected it in the socket,
’See, the green light is on. It's working, it's just as original as the previous one. Actually this is the new model.’
I was only to get home to find otherwise. So I expect an explosion any time. Living on the edge is what I am doing. I computed the amount I need to get a new RAM new battery , new charger, new drive (250 gig ain’t enough) and it come up to a very shocking figure. It was cheaper buying a new machine. So I have decided that is what I will do. Problem is the specs I want are out of this world. Quad Corei7 Extreme Edition kinda shit. But I have a guy willing to sell his Core 2 Duo to me at a fair price so lets see how that goes.
But I swear if I start earning real cash. I will unleash shit that is out of this universe. Instead of an ON button, that shit will be switched on using a key and ignition. Instead of being cooled using a fan, it will be cooled by ice. It won't be using a processor, instead that maafaka will be running on an engine. Just you wait and see. That mechanicry will be so on point that it will be able to download food from the internet. And there, is also where it will be getting its power to run everything, the internet. I will be able to get virtually and REALLY anything from the internet.
But till then let me be content with what I got. After all, its not like I have not been able to watch any kind of porn.
I have tried my best to fix it. Changed the hard drive to 250 gig. From 40. Seriously Dell, what were you thinking? Vista cant even boot on 40 Gb of space.I bought another DVDROM, but I expect it to end anytime. Already it has started producing grunting noises when reading disks. Its like it doesn’t approve what is in them diskises. To a point that it has started creeping me out. It only grunts when I am reading porn. The rest it reads quietly. Even pirated music, so I take that to be a good thing.
It now has only 512 Mb of RAM. From 1GB. Lord only knows where the other 512 Mb went to. Him and the repair man that fixed my ROM. Is it relevant to point out that the repair man is a Msapere? Probably not. So now the machine is slower than than my sister. When you click on , say, a folder, the machine first hangs then it shows a symbols that usually symbolises ‘please wait for the please wait icon to start’ . Double waiting time. Of course it does not help that I am running Windows 7 with Aero graphics on.
Did I mention that it has a whack charger. Yep. Came back from the repair shop with a switched charger. Instead of my very original one, now I have a larger, lighter and a very unoriginal (China?) one. And this one is noisier than my ROM. It crackles like a camp fire whenever it connected in the socket and the machine at both ends. But if it just in the socket it is quiet as a mouse. That is why I did not realize it had a problem. When picking it from the BUY-ONE-GET-ALL-STOLEN REPAIR SHOP, he only connected it in the socket,
’See, the green light is on. It's working, it's just as original as the previous one. Actually this is the new model.’
I was only to get home to find otherwise. So I expect an explosion any time. Living on the edge is what I am doing. I computed the amount I need to get a new RAM new battery , new charger, new drive (250 gig ain’t enough) and it come up to a very shocking figure. It was cheaper buying a new machine. So I have decided that is what I will do. Problem is the specs I want are out of this world. Quad Corei7 Extreme Edition kinda shit. But I have a guy willing to sell his Core 2 Duo to me at a fair price so lets see how that goes.
But I swear if I start earning real cash. I will unleash shit that is out of this universe. Instead of an ON button, that shit will be switched on using a key and ignition. Instead of being cooled using a fan, it will be cooled by ice. It won't be using a processor, instead that maafaka will be running on an engine. Just you wait and see. That mechanicry will be so on point that it will be able to download food from the internet. And there, is also where it will be getting its power to run everything, the internet. I will be able to get virtually and REALLY anything from the internet.
But till then let me be content with what I got. After all, its not like I have not been able to watch any kind of porn.
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| many have fallen for that apple sticker trick. |
Update: 'This is a very old post. Dated 7/29/10. I found it in my drafts and I just can't remember why I did not publish it. PS. The new blogger look is great. That is why I found this post.
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