Two Fourteen

I dunno when I will post this but I wrote this on Saturday 27th Nov. But could not publish it because I do not have internet access. Yes I am at home. And this neighbour’s wifi is really inconsistent! I am not paying for it and I am pissed off. I wonder how he feels about the inconsistency since he is the one paying for it. Anyway, irregardless (wtf does that mean?) I blog. And the following is a recollection of the week’s events. So I am at home. Broker than a shattered mirror. My aunt is here with us. I wish she was not. She is on a month long holiday meaning that this is going to be the worst Christmas holiday yet. Nothing could make it worse….or so I thought. But first, let me finish with the school events first. The high for the week was learning that the hostel offices in my campus were vandalized. Apparently, some individuals tried to scorch the place to the ground but could not succeed due to lack of something, maybe they lacked enough petrol, or manpower or time. Either way, t...

I have been woken up by stomach ache at 5 am in the morning to give you this special bulletin. Rice is white in colour. Now that you know that, I can proceed to tell you about the catch a thief story I was talking about earlier. See, I have this classmate, who for the purpose of aninomity I will call  George W. Bush, who really made me believe that you can really use your brain if you want to. This is a post of how George tracked down the thief that stole his phone. The story may lack a lot of flair because I am blogging to ignore my tummy.     So on Friday George was in the campus computer lab doing some research ( how many pokes does it take to get removed as a FB friend) when he needed to switch computers to get one that had a USB port. It was already closing time and he had to act fast and during the commotion, he discovered that the phone that he had put next to the screen was missing and so was the guy that was seated next to his computer. At first, he did not ...

      Monday. New week. It started very weirdly. The first  two socks I picked from the sock 'drawer' matched. What are the chances of that happening? Seriously. I spent the whole day in matching socks! Not a good sign. There is something about this day that has made me come home. Maybe it is wearing matching socks or the fact that today was the day that confirmed that I am totally fucked on the hostel issue.Either way, I just wanted to get home. To take up my doze of energizers. I am so low I will have to inject the morphine straight into my eye.  The week started like 21 hours ago and I have already burned through my weeks money! What the actual fuck!? I paid up my debts and was shocked to find out that I did not even have enough money to call myself broke. How do I get myself in these debts? I do not drink, nor  do drugs, nor gamble, nor do I.....What I am trying to say is campus life is expensive. I actually borrow money to do legit stuff. And...

    The week, that is. Not so much an interesting week. As usual.Highlight of the week was when a fellow classmate cunningly caught the thief that stole his phone using Facebook. For a second I was really proud of my campus but a second later It let me down and I was back to hating it. But more on that on a later post, for a reason that will be clearer then.     For now I want to talk about about 3D movies and how they were not discovered by James Cameron (AVATAR) as you may all be thinking.     So there is this class that we were learning about aerial photographs and the lecture goes on to say that if you take a picture of two places from different angles, you will produce  photographs that are in two dimension but when you look at it keenly you can see it in 3D. Granted, I was the first one to mutter 'bullshit'. Apparenlty , if you put the two pictures side by side then focus each eye on a different picture, you will get to see it in t...

    Sunday. That day of the week where you go to church to repent your sins so that they do not pile up and accumulate with next week's sins. I have not been to church of late. My sins are overflowing like the government sewage system. And like the government, I could not be bothered.     I am at home. I had to come back home today for a variety of reasons..     One of the reasons is because my little sister called me when she closed school. To tell me that she had closed school. And that she was broke. And we have this unwritten (but not unsaid) rule that whoever is in session should have money to give to whoever is in holiday because none of us has jobs and we were not lucky enough to get parents that give things called ALLOWANCES. My sister came through for me when I had that long holiday (thrice) and now it was my turn! Luckily, it is not always a lot of money that we share (you know, cos we do not have jobs). It is always something littl...

    School sucks. Makes me wanna just quit and start a life of crime. Seems the easiest way to make it here in Kenya. Why waste your time booking (reading books) only to find that you get more out of being an member of parliament than actually getting a job for the PhD you spent years pursuing? Unfortunately, I cannot be a politician, mainly because I have such a short memory I cannot keep my lies straight. Partly because I do not have the money to bribe my way corruptedly into power. Luckily the main reason is not a major problem here in Kenya. These politician deny whatever bullcrap they fed us blatantly despite the fact that they were caught on tape giving the promise. And Kenyans are still dumb enough to vote them back in office. So I guess the my main problem is the money. Which is the easiest way I can illegally get money.?              I am currently at home. Having been fucked up by the hostel allocation ...

      It is 5 am in the morning. I woke up to blog. Actually I woke up to get ready for school but found it raining cats and dogs and little evil batrats. I would not even have woken up were it not for that JustinE Beiber alarm tone. Song so bad that I could not dare hit the snooze button because I do not want to go through the torture of listening to it again. That is what I wanted. A way to always be up early.      But now it is raining. So much that I have already gotten a flu and I have not even been out of the house yet. How will I get to school? Missing a hostel really sucks because now I have to get things called umbrellas and those other rain prevention kit. If I had a hostel I would just dash to class under the rain cos the distance is not that long. But if I tried that from home (running the rain) I would reach school being so wet that it would look like a herd of elephants just wankstabated on me. So I cannot try that. The logical solution w...