OR SOMETHING
I dunno when I will post this but I wrote this on Saturday 27th Nov. But could not publish it because I do not have internet access. Yes I am at home. And this neighbour’s wifi is really inconsistent! I am not paying for it and I am pissed off. I wonder how he feels about the inconsistency since he is the one paying for it. Anyway, irregardless (wtf does that mean?) I blog. And the following is a recollection of the week’s events.
So I am at home. Broker than a shattered mirror. My aunt is here with us. I wish she was not. She is on a month long holiday meaning that this is going to be the worst Christmas holiday yet. Nothing could make it worse….or so I thought.
But first, let me finish with the school events first. The high for the week was learning that the hostel offices in my campus were vandalized. Apparently, some individuals tried to scorch the place to the ground but could not succeed due to lack of something, maybe they lacked enough petrol, or manpower or time. Either way, the arson did not go as planned. Bummer. Don’t you just hate it when a plan falls apart. I do not have a clear report on what transpired that night. Maybe they were not even trying to burn the place, maybe it was just a stoner that accidentally dropped his big fat blunt in front of the door or something. Either way, I am going to stick with the story that the offices were being targeted. Mainly because I was denied a decent hostel and partly because I was denied a decent hostel.
I swear if the school security finds this blog they are going tothink know that I was in charge of that whole sabotage/operation/thingy/something. Since I am the one bashing them the most. So I should stop saying that the hostel guys are a bunch of fucked up corrupt fuckups. I should also not say that I think that some of them are a complete waste of skin. Because such sayings could get me in trouble or something.
Low of the week. Learning about the field study we have to take next month. I have always known about it but never actually heard of the details all at once. See, I am an indoor nigga. Never like going outside even when I need to. Something about my childhood made me that way. If I ever get rich I am going to make a tunnel from here to everywhere I need to go just so that I do not say that I have gone outside. So when hearing that I will have to be away from everything I am used to (yes my aunt is my comfort zone), I was a bit rattled. They say that it is possible that we might be sleeping under tents and we are advised to get clothing that is resistant to snake bites. Snakes! There are going to be snakes there?! Dear Lord. That is going to be wonderful! But I am sure I am going to be fine. No one has seriously died from such field work before. They only die a little. What am I saying?
Mom called me today. Through my aunt’s phone. I never got why she does that (call me through my aunt’s phone) till today. She talked to me and she was taking longer to respond than the usual long-distant waiting time.
My dad had been hospitalized for the last 4 months after he had collapsed in his kitchen and broke his leg or something. He had lost his memory for the time he had been there so we never got to talk with him. His age is really catching up with him. But on the up side, those were 4 months of never having to listen to how I was a waste of useful organs. Or how much I have spent ever since I was born! Either way, those 4 months I still prayed. Though not quite sure for what. The demeaning to stop or continue as soon as possible. #dilemma
Anyway, I was eager to hear how well he was doing so,
I told my folks exactly how I lost my phone. ‘Not sure how’. I did not want to come up with a heartfelt story of how I was mugged and how the thugs threatened to kill me unless I produced a Nokia 6133 with a shortlife battery and broken back cover. I am very creative but I did not want to make up any story, because I was feeling lazy and I was tired of the trying to impress. He would only take him a short while to get something else to ‘show’ him how irresponsible and useless I am. So to spare my memory and brain cells, I stuck to the truth. Stupid move. But then again, I am full of them stupid moves.
I being in campus and it being full of resourceful people, I got some few phones to be using before I got another one. I could borrow from people who have an extra one and return when they needed it back. If I did not have a phone I was unreachable and if I did, you could get me by phone. During the long holiday I was lucky to get one whose owner lives so far away that there was no way I could return it if he wanted it in the middle of the holiday. It was mine for the whole 4 month holiday. It was not a great phone but it helped keep in touch. I never bothered to get myself a phone during the holiday because I knew I was not returning the borrowed one soon. So I stuck with it but I knew it was not mine so I never called it mine.
My folks would try to reach me but sometimes could not and that is when I told them I do not have a phone I lost it. Now sources tell my dad that I have been holding something that is black and has a screen and my dad has concluded that I lied to him that I lost his phone. Either that or his sources are lying about seeing me with his phone. We all know that when he says sources he is referring to my aunt so there is no way she could be lying (she is an adult). So it was me who was.
I lost my dad’s trust a long time ago and I have really never tried to get it back. So I never bothered to argue that the phone I was using was not mine. As far as that went, I am a pathological liar. A fact that I never tried to disprove very much. But at least I got why it was taking mom long to answer back. She was in speaker phone and they were calculating the question to ask me next. A test. I think I was supposed to trap myself with my lies or something. I do not know how well I did on that exam (I am a very bad student) and quite frankly I do not care.
After the call, I replayed whatever conservation I had with my cousin who is best at deciphering whatever conversation is had. That nigga can get ‘ I want to kill you with a blunt Rossetti knife that is 6 inches long’ from a ‘hi’. So this conversation with my dad was a piece of cake. He made me realise what is going through his head. It was December and most of the schools were closed or closing but I was claiming that my class (and only my class) was going for a class study for two weeks and I needed money for it… In short he got that I am trying to make him pay for a holiday trip to the coast with me and my friends for two weeks in the name of a class.
True enough, when he sent the money, through an email titled ‘School Trip’, he insisted that I send him a copy of the receipt after I pay for the ‘trip’. This is not going to be possible because despite the fact that we are actually going for a field study class, the money is not going to help the school in anyway so we are not going to be issued a receipt. That money is basically for our own upkeep on the camp or whatever. For food and accommodating which for some reason the school is not providing despite the fact we have paid full fees, both accommodation and tutorial. Also, the reason why this always happens during the December holiday is because most boarding schools are on holiday so they school can access accommodation for us in those schools since no one is using them, then tell us how much we have to pay for them.
Explaining this to my father is quite hard for me. I am not even sure I explained it well enough for you. I just have a poor way of explaining that study to people because I myself do not have all the facts. So I am going to have to accept the fact that my folks think that I am going to the beaches with bitches. I do not feel like proving otherwise. Because that would involve writing a fake receipt on MS Word, insert the school logo then have my friend Kip put a cursive sign under Yours Sincerely and above College Registrar or something. If I were not this lazy, that is what I would do. But I do not feel like going through all that trouble just for him to find something else that will make them think I want to crack into his bank account and wipe him clean or something. Plus I am still working my head around how the fuck I am going to be in the wilderness for two weeks.
I wish I had blogging abilities on that field study just to post every retarded thing that happens there because I am sure shit is going to go down. My class is full of very retarded (read funny) niggas. So I might actually come to enjoy that class after all, if I do not ‘accidentally’ fall into an open pit latrine and snap my neck… OR SOMETHING.
So I am at home. Broker than a shattered mirror. My aunt is here with us. I wish she was not. She is on a month long holiday meaning that this is going to be the worst Christmas holiday yet. Nothing could make it worse….or so I thought.
But first, let me finish with the school events first. The high for the week was learning that the hostel offices in my campus were vandalized. Apparently, some individuals tried to scorch the place to the ground but could not succeed due to lack of something, maybe they lacked enough petrol, or manpower or time. Either way, the arson did not go as planned. Bummer. Don’t you just hate it when a plan falls apart. I do not have a clear report on what transpired that night. Maybe they were not even trying to burn the place, maybe it was just a stoner that accidentally dropped his big fat blunt in front of the door or something. Either way, I am going to stick with the story that the offices were being targeted. Mainly because I was denied a decent hostel and partly because I was denied a decent hostel.
I swear if the school security finds this blog they are going to
Low of the week. Learning about the field study we have to take next month. I have always known about it but never actually heard of the details all at once. See, I am an indoor nigga. Never like going outside even when I need to. Something about my childhood made me that way. If I ever get rich I am going to make a tunnel from here to everywhere I need to go just so that I do not say that I have gone outside. So when hearing that I will have to be away from everything I am used to (yes my aunt is my comfort zone), I was a bit rattled. They say that it is possible that we might be sleeping under tents and we are advised to get clothing that is resistant to snake bites. Snakes! There are going to be snakes there?! Dear Lord. That is going to be wonderful! But I am sure I am going to be fine. No one has seriously died from such field work before. They only die a little. What am I saying?
Mom called me today. Through my aunt’s phone. I never got why she does that (call me through my aunt’s phone) till today. She talked to me and she was taking longer to respond than the usual long-distant waiting time.
Are you doing alright?
Yes.
*silence*several seconds later
Is school going okay?Then she takes her time again before she asks another question. It felt like an interrogation. Like she was jotting down notes. Like what I was saying was a clue to what to ask next. I did not understand what the pauses were for since I am very obvious and predictable with my yes-no replies. I really should stop with the one-word answers because it really sounds fishy and most of all sometimes I do not make sense at all.
Yes.
*silence*
How is everyone else doing?Anyway, I figured that this was a good time as any to inform her of the field work. How much it might cost, what I might need, where we might be going… I was not sure of everything because the school was not either. We were to be confirmed of the facts later on during the following next week or something. Now, here in this house, not being sure of anything is thought of a way to lie and steal money from my dad! But I did not have the energy to pretend that I was sure of anything because this was my mom I was talking to. So I went on to tell her all I knew so far and she went on to take a while before talking back. Then after few minutes of interrogation she goes,
Yes.
What?
Fine.
Oh, you said fine?
Yes.
Talk to your fatherWait. What? She was with dad? And he can talk? Oh shit!
My dad had been hospitalized for the last 4 months after he had collapsed in his kitchen and broke his leg or something. He had lost his memory for the time he had been there so we never got to talk with him. His age is really catching up with him. But on the up side, those were 4 months of never having to listen to how I was a waste of useful organs. Or how much I have spent ever since I was born! Either way, those 4 months I still prayed. Though not quite sure for what. The demeaning to stop or continue as soon as possible. #dilemma
Anyway, I was eager to hear how well he was doing so,
Hallo dadWow, he was really doing well (healthically) . Because that is how he answers the phone when he is in his prime. Starts the lecture immediately. No time to bullshit with hellos and how-are-you-doings. His bone of contention (this time) was that I have been lying to them about my lost phone. Apparently I have been pretending that I have lost the phone for the purpose of stealing my dad’s hard-earned money. If I never told you how I lost my phone (I swear that story is one of my 230495876 blogs), allow me. At the begin of the year (calendar not academic) I lost the phone that my dad and given to me. It was not exactly bought for me but the events that transpired in 2007 ended with me having the Nokia 6133 he was using. I lost the phone this year in a circumstance I was not very sure about. I was walking from class one day holding it and the next minute I was not. It disappeared. I should really get George W Bush to help me trace it after he so cunningly got his back.
Which one of you is lying?
I told my folks exactly how I lost my phone. ‘Not sure how’. I did not want to come up with a heartfelt story of how I was mugged and how the thugs threatened to kill me unless I produced a Nokia 6133 with a shortlife battery and broken back cover. I am very creative but I did not want to make up any story, because I was feeling lazy and I was tired of the trying to impress. He would only take him a short while to get something else to ‘show’ him how irresponsible and useless I am. So to spare my memory and brain cells, I stuck to the truth. Stupid move. But then again, I am full of them stupid moves.
I being in campus and it being full of resourceful people, I got some few phones to be using before I got another one. I could borrow from people who have an extra one and return when they needed it back. If I did not have a phone I was unreachable and if I did, you could get me by phone. During the long holiday I was lucky to get one whose owner lives so far away that there was no way I could return it if he wanted it in the middle of the holiday. It was mine for the whole 4 month holiday. It was not a great phone but it helped keep in touch. I never bothered to get myself a phone during the holiday because I knew I was not returning the borrowed one soon. So I stuck with it but I knew it was not mine so I never called it mine.
My folks would try to reach me but sometimes could not and that is when I told them I do not have a phone I lost it. Now sources tell my dad that I have been holding something that is black and has a screen and my dad has concluded that I lied to him that I lost his phone. Either that or his sources are lying about seeing me with his phone. We all know that when he says sources he is referring to my aunt so there is no way she could be lying (she is an adult). So it was me who was.
I lost my dad’s trust a long time ago and I have really never tried to get it back. So I never bothered to argue that the phone I was using was not mine. As far as that went, I am a pathological liar. A fact that I never tried to disprove very much. But at least I got why it was taking mom long to answer back. She was in speaker phone and they were calculating the question to ask me next. A test. I think I was supposed to trap myself with my lies or something. I do not know how well I did on that exam (I am a very bad student) and quite frankly I do not care.
After the call, I replayed whatever conservation I had with my cousin who is best at deciphering whatever conversation is had. That nigga can get ‘ I want to kill you with a blunt Rossetti knife that is 6 inches long’ from a ‘hi’. So this conversation with my dad was a piece of cake. He made me realise what is going through his head. It was December and most of the schools were closed or closing but I was claiming that my class (and only my class) was going for a class study for two weeks and I needed money for it… In short he got that I am trying to make him pay for a holiday trip to the coast with me and my friends for two weeks in the name of a class.
True enough, when he sent the money, through an email titled ‘School Trip’, he insisted that I send him a copy of the receipt after I pay for the ‘trip’. This is not going to be possible because despite the fact that we are actually going for a field study class, the money is not going to help the school in anyway so we are not going to be issued a receipt. That money is basically for our own upkeep on the camp or whatever. For food and accommodating which for some reason the school is not providing despite the fact we have paid full fees, both accommodation and tutorial. Also, the reason why this always happens during the December holiday is because most boarding schools are on holiday so they school can access accommodation for us in those schools since no one is using them, then tell us how much we have to pay for them.
Explaining this to my father is quite hard for me. I am not even sure I explained it well enough for you. I just have a poor way of explaining that study to people because I myself do not have all the facts. So I am going to have to accept the fact that my folks think that I am going to the beaches with bitches. I do not feel like proving otherwise. Because that would involve writing a fake receipt on MS Word, insert the school logo then have my friend Kip put a cursive sign under Yours Sincerely and above College Registrar or something. If I were not this lazy, that is what I would do. But I do not feel like going through all that trouble just for him to find something else that will make them think I want to crack into his bank account and wipe him clean or something. Plus I am still working my head around how the fuck I am going to be in the wilderness for two weeks.
I wish I had blogging abilities on that field study just to post every retarded thing that happens there because I am sure shit is going to go down. My class is full of very retarded (read funny) niggas. So I might actually come to enjoy that class after all, if I do not ‘accidentally’ fall into an open pit latrine and snap my neck… OR SOMETHING.
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