DO NOT BE DUMB
I have been woken up by stomach ache at 5 am in the morning to give you this special bulletin. Rice is white in colour. Now that you know that, I can proceed to tell you about the catch a thief story I was talking about earlier. See, I have this classmate, who for the purpose of aninomity I will call George W. Bush, who really made me believe that you can really use your brain if you want to. This is a post of how George tracked down the thief that stole his phone. The story may lack a lot of flair because I am blogging to ignore my tummy.
So on Friday George was in the campus computer lab doing some research ( how many pokes does it take to get removed as a FB friend) when he needed to switch computers to get one that had a USB port. It was already closing time and he had to act fast and during the commotion, he discovered that the phone that he had put next to the screen was missing and so was the guy that was seated next to his computer. At first, he did not put two and two together. He thought that it might have dropped or something. He searched his best even with the help of the lab technician but could not find it. It was already time to close up shop so the technician told him to come look for it the following Monday in a more organised manner.
George had sometime to put two and two together and on Monday he was the first one to get in the computer laboratory. So what he does is go to the computer the suspect was using. He was the last one to use it on Friday so George was sure no one else used it. Went over to history folder, opened the latest yahoo page offline. This made sure that it did not reload the page to give you that sign in slot. On the page he got the fucker's email address. Then George logged into his Facebook and searched the email address, ONE RESULT FOUND.
Added as friend and the fucker accepted even before he could refresh the page. Now a friend, George had access to the perp's info, like his mobile phone number. So George calls up pretending to be a friend and he is like, ' Hey dude missed you in class, where are you.' Now the retard, since he could not think past his own nose, instructed George on exactly where he was, his hostel room. George walked in there to catch the stupid motherfucker red handed using his phone. He was exchanging contacts from his old phone to 'his' new one. The nigga did not have much to say after being caught so stupidly and George did not even bother to do anything framatic like kick his teeth in. He was just glad to have found his phone and let the dude off without even a warning.
This all went well until the class goons and I heard the story. It sounded straight out of CSI : Nairobi. We were not just bamboozled by the work of George's mind but also intrigued by the thief's stupidity. Both of these people were in the same university that is said to be the best in the whole of Kenya. For a second, I was like, yeah that is true, then a second later I am, ' no wait, are you sure'. How did such a dude get here? Stole his way in? Anyway, it was found that the thief should pay. And not the in the just way. This nigga had to produce actual money. We started making up reasons as to why George should go back and demand for money for the nigga. Granted, the reasons were stupid (emotional damages for having no one night stand to call over the weekend) but in a way it was deemed necesary. A group of us visited him in his room and scared the living shit out of him. Telling him how we will forward him to security and get expelled after paying for everything that has ever gotten lost in the university. Level after level of scaring lead him to agree to pay George not to take him forward. The money he was willing to give out was too much to have in hand so he promised to have it at the end of the month. He probably won't bu it was sure as hell fun to hear what he had to say.
I think you can all see the moral of the story here: DO NOT BE DUMB. And with that I leave for school. Blogging has distracted my stomach into feeling good so I better rush to school before it starts again.
PS. I did not have time to spell check this post so I apologize for any whatevers. I was racing against time
So on Friday George was in the campus computer lab doing some research ( how many pokes does it take to get removed as a FB friend) when he needed to switch computers to get one that had a USB port. It was already closing time and he had to act fast and during the commotion, he discovered that the phone that he had put next to the screen was missing and so was the guy that was seated next to his computer. At first, he did not put two and two together. He thought that it might have dropped or something. He searched his best even with the help of the lab technician but could not find it. It was already time to close up shop so the technician told him to come look for it the following Monday in a more organised manner.
George had sometime to put two and two together and on Monday he was the first one to get in the computer laboratory. So what he does is go to the computer the suspect was using. He was the last one to use it on Friday so George was sure no one else used it. Went over to history folder, opened the latest yahoo page offline. This made sure that it did not reload the page to give you that sign in slot. On the page he got the fucker's email address. Then George logged into his Facebook and searched the email address, ONE RESULT FOUND.
Added as friend and the fucker accepted even before he could refresh the page. Now a friend, George had access to the perp's info, like his mobile phone number. So George calls up pretending to be a friend and he is like, ' Hey dude missed you in class, where are you.' Now the retard, since he could not think past his own nose, instructed George on exactly where he was, his hostel room. George walked in there to catch the stupid motherfucker red handed using his phone. He was exchanging contacts from his old phone to 'his' new one. The nigga did not have much to say after being caught so stupidly and George did not even bother to do anything framatic like kick his teeth in. He was just glad to have found his phone and let the dude off without even a warning.
This all went well until the class goons and I heard the story. It sounded straight out of CSI : Nairobi. We were not just bamboozled by the work of George's mind but also intrigued by the thief's stupidity. Both of these people were in the same university that is said to be the best in the whole of Kenya. For a second, I was like, yeah that is true, then a second later I am, ' no wait, are you sure'. How did such a dude get here? Stole his way in? Anyway, it was found that the thief should pay. And not the in the just way. This nigga had to produce actual money. We started making up reasons as to why George should go back and demand for money for the nigga. Granted, the reasons were stupid (emotional damages for having no one night stand to call over the weekend) but in a way it was deemed necesary. A group of us visited him in his room and scared the living shit out of him. Telling him how we will forward him to security and get expelled after paying for everything that has ever gotten lost in the university. Level after level of scaring lead him to agree to pay George not to take him forward. The money he was willing to give out was too much to have in hand so he promised to have it at the end of the month. He probably won't bu it was sure as hell fun to hear what he had to say.
I think you can all see the moral of the story here: DO NOT BE DUMB. And with that I leave for school. Blogging has distracted my stomach into feeling good so I better rush to school before it starts again.
PS. I did not have time to spell check this post so I apologize for any whatevers. I was racing against time
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