14. Lil Wayne - Heavenly Father (Feat. Fat Joe).mp3

       So tomorrow we open school. Kind of excited about that. Yeah. Not really. I have tons of work once we open. 3 reports and one uber report concerning the field study we underwent! Hell I do not remember anything we did and why should I? Didn’t Gandhi or someone influential say that we should not dwell on the past. And I am pretty sure that things that happened in 2010 are in the past. Because, you know, we are in 2011! We should look into the future. Like where am I going to get a fucking hostel! Its times like this that I think girls’ lives are very easy. Two girls can comfortably share a 4 x 6 and it will not be found weird when you find them spooning. When in reality they may have spent the whole night tossing each other’s salads. (Sounds wrong in plural). But if it was a girl and a guy then they would definitely be said that they are fucking. And if its two dudes sharing a bed . . . where is the damn petrol and matchbox! Heavenly Father.

     The thing that I hate most about opening in January is the ritual of telling everybody (my dad) that I am not starting a new semester. Its just a continuation of what I had started in October. See, my dad still thinks I am in high school so every time I tell him that we have closed he ask for my report card. I try to tell him that in public universities we get results at the end of the academic year and I just come off as a liar. Also, the fact that the results for the supplementary exams are not out yet is not helping at all. So dad wants the name of my class teacher so that he can call him and ask him personally how well I am doing. My dad has a masters of something but clearly he behaving like he did not go to a university to get it. MY CLASS TEACHER? Is he serious. We have a lecturer for each unit. We have 12 units each year. I have gone through like 25 lecturers in my time at the university. Some who do not know my existence, owing to the fact that it is a class of 500+. I pointed this out to my dad who then insisted he wanted all those names. I think I am going to give them to him. Mainly because he is the one paying the fees so I am kind of his puppet and partly because it is not worth the fight.

     My sis is going back to school tomorrow to beg for readmission after being given a suspension for being ‘found’ with a phone in school. This was after an intervention was held today and everyone was telling her how she needs to keep away from bad company and how she can be number one in class if she applied herself, this is her final year so she should only do books then later on she can go clubbing every night. You know, the textbook cliché advises we give teenagers. ‘We’ really hope that the talk-cum-lecture-cum-intervention will really help her out.

     And finally I would like to address the latest of my addictions (read fetish). Whining. Or maybe its wining. I do not know how the fuck its spelt. All I know is its driving me mad. Basically wine is the name giving to some dance move commonly done by the Jamaicans. There are different types of wine the craziest being the dutty wine (check Tony Matterhorn for details). I have heard of chicks dying while performing this move. Its lethal I tell you. The kind I am into is not that vigorous. Probably the mildest. Where the girl grinds/gyrates her waist with the beat. Drives me crazy. Never get tired of seeing it. I need to know where i get videos of such. Or just go to Jamaica. They do it in the streets everyday. Check out this video I got online of My Ms Wine of 2010. Now the only probe is that she is just a Jamaican video vixen so she gets hidden a lot by this guys. The ones that actually sing in the video. Shame really.

     I am a fan of dancing. Mainly because I could not dance to save my life, so the simplest moves amaze me. Something that I am also into is popping/animation. And the Asians are good at that. Is that why America’s Best Dance Crew is always Asian filled? Just a thought. The best poppers are undoubtedly U-Min. The 4 Asian dudes that did Missy’s Ching Ching video. (Is she calling their names or what the fuck is Chin Chang?) But have you guys seen Step Up 3D? Yes the glowing clothes were awesome but my best scene was Madd Chadd’s Robot Rock. I have rewatched that scene so many times that I have found out where they get that dust to throw in the air. From their left pockets. There must be something wrong with this white boy’s body because those moves are not human! He is the reason I am looking for that LXD show where I hear is full of out of this world dance moves. Directed by Jon M Chu. If you can hook me up with any season I would be very grateful. .

Madd Chadd

    Parting shot. Rumour has it that Facebook ends on March 15th. That is just a load of bull fertiliser but I hope it turns out to be true. Just to see how the youth deals with lack of their digital heroine. I am foreseeing some few suicides if Facebook shuts down.