SHILLI-TRIP [Kenyan EuroTrip] Part I
I boarded the minibus at around seven O'clock. I figured it may not get me closest to The House, but it was roomier than than the 14-seater vans that could. I hate getting my legs crushed behind the seats of these small matatus. One of the few perks of being so tall. I feel like a contortionist trying to fit on the back of these vans.
The minibus was almost full with the remaining seat being next to this man that was the size of a van. This nigga was huge. He put the human in humangous . He was taking up both seats and I guessed he was only going to pay for one. That image reminded me of a matatu sticker:
'Sisemi wewe ni mnono lakini ukikalia viti mbili lipia'.
Which loosely translated is the opposite of 'if you are sexy and you know it clap your hands'. Meaning: big fat ass guys taking up two seats in a matatu should pay for them both. I, personally, am not in tune with this line of thinking. Unless they also say that skinny niggas like me should pay for only half a seat. We have rights too. Yesno?
I was about to deboard and wait for another one when I noticed an empty seat behind the drivers seat. As I sat, I decided o switch off my music since the matatu had it's own noisy static-filled radio on. I pulled my phone out, turned the music off and back to my pocket. That is when I felt someone tap my shoulder.
She glanced at it, slid it open, turned it and then asked me where and how much I had bought it. Because she had imported one just like that and had shattered the screen and had no idea where to get it. I found myself blurting out my details like she was my shrink or something. I was about to take that opportunity to start my own questions when the bus conductor came between us asking for the fare. I pocketed my phone as I fished out the money. She had gotten all she needed from me so we did not continue our convo when the bus conductor left. I sat there brainstorming. Thinking of a conversation continuer, but nothing came to mind. I was still disarmed by how she had changamkiad me. I am so sorry I do not know how to say that in proper English. Just when I thought I had something clever to say, the unavoidable happened …
 |
| Matatus: The minibus next to the van |
The minibus was almost full with the remaining seat being next to this man that was the size of a van. This nigga was huge. He put the human in humangous . He was taking up both seats and I guessed he was only going to pay for one. That image reminded me of a matatu sticker:
'Sisemi wewe ni mnono lakini ukikalia viti mbili lipia'.
Which loosely translated is the opposite of 'if you are sexy and you know it clap your hands'. Meaning: big fat ass guys taking up two seats in a matatu should pay for them both. I, personally, am not in tune with this line of thinking. Unless they also say that skinny niggas like me should pay for only half a seat. We have rights too. Yesno?
I was about to deboard and wait for another one when I noticed an empty seat behind the drivers seat. As I sat, I decided o switch off my music since the matatu had it's own noisy static-filled radio on. I pulled my phone out, turned the music off and back to my pocket. That is when I felt someone tap my shoulder.
‘Excuse me?’I turned. Seated on the other side of the aisle was this very hot chick. Actually I could not see her face clearly but I just knew she was hot. She had sat with her legs 2 feet up on the speakers that were behind the driver because her legs could not fit on the space left by the speakers. This meant she was tall. Hot. She had on this tight jeans that looked really classy (hot!) but still she sat feet up like a dude because it was more comfortable for her that way. Hot. She has the Eastlands attitude of not being shy to say anything to anyone. Scary but hot. Even her voice was hot. That is why I almost broke my neck turning when she tapped me.
‘Yes?’ I offered staring directly at her face and wishing I could see her face clearly. Damn matatu lighting!
‘Can I see your phone?’What the fuck? This question threw me off guard and had my brain spinning like a man on fire. All I could manage to say was
‘What?’She thought I had not heard her due to the loud music and raised her voice a notch higher.I had heard stories of how such a question might leave you robbed and maybe hurt but I found myself taking out my phone and handing out to her. It's like I was hypnotized. Must have been her voice. Damn, this would not end well. I was so sure of this that I did not pull my my earphones out when i handed it over. She had to move closer just to avoiding cutting the cord. I had her on a short leash so to speak. I tried smelling her hair just because I am creepy like that but I still had my flu so I smelt nothing. That or she had a weave on. And those do not have a scent, right?
She glanced at it, slid it open, turned it and then asked me where and how much I had bought it. Because she had imported one just like that and had shattered the screen and had no idea where to get it. I found myself blurting out my details like she was my shrink or something. I was about to take that opportunity to start my own questions when the bus conductor came between us asking for the fare. I pocketed my phone as I fished out the money. She had gotten all she needed from me so we did not continue our convo when the bus conductor left. I sat there brainstorming. Thinking of a conversation continuer, but nothing came to mind. I was still disarmed by how she had changamkiad me. I am so sorry I do not know how to say that in proper English. Just when I thought I had something clever to say, the unavoidable happened …
*** END OF PART I***
Sorry I had to break this post into parts but I had to for the following reasons
1. I was getting tired of writing since I have become addicted to the 140 character type of thinking.
2. Also because I have always wanted to do a post with parts but I never got a reason.
Spoiler alert: Nothing exciting happened so do not hold your breath waiting for the next post
Comments
Post a Comment