Two Fourteen

       What did the llama say to the chicken? Nothing. The llama said nothing. Because llamas don't fucking talk. If you sense a little hostility in my post today, it is not that I am hateful or anything, just had a fucked up week. I probably had worse weeks but this so far I cant wait to end.       Monday started out with a random test. From a lecturer whose unit I knew nothing about. I was practically through with that 2 hour paper in 30 minutes. I had written all I could and there was no need to pretend to be busy when I really wasn't. But from monday, things just got worse. This other chemistry lecturer is pumping us up with assignments that will take a month to finish. And that is not even the bad part. All her assignments need to be done on a computer. To top it up all, they are online assignments. She recently made us discover about elearning and now everything is being done online. Some first world country shit I tell you. But Kenya is a third world country and this is

     Some time back I asked you guys a riddle. Oh my. Is that correct English? Lemme go back. Some time back I inquired you guys a riddle. No. That does not feel right either. A riddle was questioned to you? Help me out here guys. What is the correct form of that statement?      I am usually am very slow in making  follow up posts but this time I think I am improving because I have made this post only after 1 year. But before I give out the answer to that one, here is another one to keep you preoccupied. It is also old. A dying father left his 3 sons all his 17 cows. In his will he dictated the cows be divided in the following ratio. Half of the cows to go to the first born, a third to go the second and a sixth to go to the last born. How would they divide them to make sure no cow was killed and split?      Anyway, this was the previous riddle. You want to buy a shirt that costs 97 KeSh but you are broker than a cracked mirror. That is to say you do not have any money. So you decide t

   Then suddenly I heard about this new gadget by Google called Google Glasses . Essentially how they work is like this. They are lenses that act as a screen to keep showing you stuff like your G + notifications and the weather report and stream porn right before your eyes. It is really futuristic stuff and looks really awesome but when I first heard about them I didn’t see why I would want to have a pair to myself. I already wear glasses. So would I have to put The Google Glasses over my normal ones? that is really douchy, I thought. I already do that with 3D glasses and feel dumb enough. Thank God for the poor lighting in the movie theaters. And then there is the multitasking thing. I can actually picture the thought process of those Google Guys in my head. Yo Dawg. I heard that you like wearing glasses. So I put some glasses over your glasses so that you can see while you see. I have to be looking at and through my glasses at the same time. That is really hard for me and not just be

Here is a strange dream I just woke up from. I am feeling pressed by pee (is that correct English) so I run to the toilet and find that it is occupied by a family member. I quickly hurry to my parents room to use the second bathroom. Only to get there and realize that there is no second bathroom. I see a hole on the top corner of the bed drawer and my dream brain tells me it's okay to pee there. I start pissing and halfway through I hear piss hitting the floor. That is when my brain goes like 'This is not the toilet'. No shit. I hurry back to the real bathroom and this time the member is out. Not my member. The family member that was using the toilet. I am about to walk in when I hear my mom's voice in the living room. She had just arrived. I run to my sister's room looking for a mop. Could it find any. I run to Mom's room to see what I can use to clean up. Time is running out because I hear her voice louder every minute. She is talking to my kid bro. Telling hi

     I do not get the deal with men wanting their chicks to swallow. I mean, you have already come in her mouth. Isn't that humiliating enough? What possible advantage is there in wanting her to swallow other than asserting your dominance? If I am to think in Physics, the only guess I have is, her swallowing creates a vacuum in her mouth and this sucks out the remaining semen from the shaft thus accelerating and-slash-or prolonging your orgasm. But in order for this to work, the system has to be closed. Meaning that she has to have her mouth well around the penis to prevent the air outside from getting in and filling in the vacuum. But now this brings in a biological problem. Not a lot of girls can swallow with their mouth open. So most will end up choking.  And is that what men really want? Maybe. Probably. Niggas brains have been brainwashed by porn. Seriously, if you are a man, think about this. If you are a woman, ask a man to think about this. ‘What is so good about swallowing