DO NOT EVER GET THIS DRUNK




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LOCUSTROPHOBIA

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No zoom. I came so close to this locust that I swear it winked at me.                      I am not a fan of many things. Included are these funny jumpy creatures. One minute you are looking at them, then you blink and they are in your face and in your nose and in your hair all at the same time. I fear grasshoppers and dread locusts. When I was little, kids used to catch them and pluck out their legs for pure enjoyment and I was the one pleading them not to do that.      'Just killed it. Don't torture it for nothing', I would tell them.      What I really meant was, 'Kill it before it cuts that string you have tied it to and grows legs to jump on my face and in my nose and in my hair all at the same time'      During those long campus holidays, I do what my dad calls saving money and go upcountry to look after at his goats and sheep and those things with titties from here to here. Co...
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WASAPERE WA EASTLANDO

     I am not one to generalise. So I hate stereotyping. It is just that in Kenya stereotyping what we love to do. And hot damn it has reached a point that it is funny as hell. Take tribal stereotyping for instance. My tribe can be said to be Kikuyu so I am a mkikuyu aka msapere (in slang/shen'g). Wasapere (which is the plural of msapere) are 'known' to love money so much that they are thieves in nature. They will steal anything in order to make money. money-oriented is what they are. They have been known to fake being of another tribe just to make money.      This is how. See in Kenya tourism is kinda catchy with them Whiteys loving to visit for the cool weather , the scenery and the culture. And the latter is where a Kikuyu comes in. Since we have been affected by the western culture, most of our traditions have been wiped out. It has been so eroded that we wear clothes these days. Yeah. That bad. Only very few tribes still hold on to their culture, one ...
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MY NEW ROOM IS GREAT

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     After a whole year of sleeping no where specific, the system finally got me a decent room. Yes they may be a little late considering that they gave it to me when it was holiday time but still I am not complaining. It only for this month and cost me only 7 shillings extra a day. You hear such an amount and you can just imagine how shitty the rooms must be. Whenever anyone ask me how much a hostel cost me per year I tell them Ksh 5880 . Then they ask me ‘ 6000 per month?’ and I am like no, that is per academic year! Fucking cheap right? Well that is even the expensive ones around here. We get charged between 18 – 30 shillings per day, meaning you can even get a room for 3906 Ksh p.a. But that is only for freshmen. Strictly! I cannot stress this enough. The cheapest ones are for the First Years. This is a reason I am stressing this so much.     I am stressing it just in case you turn out to be one of those parents who behave like my dad. Just before ...
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