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Showing posts from September, 2010

TOP 5 SOFTWAREs I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT

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        If you have a PC and addicted to it, then you most definitely have your toplist of programs that you must have. When you format your computer, these are the first things to reinstall after upgrading to Windows Vista Premium (wanna bet that will make you format again?). Even before the RAM-demanding Kaspersky. I , too have my list and no, Kaspersky aint on it. Or any antivirus for that matter! 5. Google Chrome      This is my best browser. Every thing about it is made for me. From open link in incognito window to the way you can turn a window into a tab. But my absolute fave feature is the way it can wait the waiting period of most file sharing websites. Like QuickUpload. No waiting time and multiple downloads is possible for free users if you use Chrome. That means I can get Lil Wayne's album simultaneously with episodes of Arrested Development. http://www.thatISjustSOfuckingAwesome.to.me    4. Internet Download Manager.      Any dedicated downloader knows and uses this pro

I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING

     This is a sucky day. But not because of my aunt! That was yesterday. Today is just gloomy. It looks like 6.30 in the morning but its is already midday! This weather is very undecided. Looks like its going to rain and has been looking like that since morning. Come on rain already! Yesterday it rained. I wonder why, the weather people had predicted a dry spell that they passionately nicknamed LaNina. I am thinking we set aside a special Lynch-Then-Burn A Meteorologist Day just for them because hotdammit! These guys are more confused liars more than lawyers and politicians combined!      There is no water in the taps. Because this is Kenya and such things are not considered important by our greedy government. I had planned on doing laundry today because I will be very engaged from Thursday having to read for my resits and all before next week. Oh, I didn't tell you that I failed and have to repeat? Pardon me. I failed and so I have to repeat. Now you know.       Even if there was

TODAY...BROUGHT TO YOU BY A BITCH OF AN AUNT

  So today.

TWELVE

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      I watched this movie without known the cast or having seen the trailer prior to watching it. Hell, I did not even know that it was a new box office movie. I just watched it because I had somehow downloaded it and I had nothing better to watch! At the end I super enjoyed. It was great. Its about a pot dealer called White Mike (Chace Crawford) and his life after losing his mother to cancer. His living in Mahattan around a click of super rich spoilt tenagers and an illegal drug known as TWELVE. The story is narrated by Keifer Sutherland so that was a motivation to finish the movie. A Joel Schumaker film.   I want to talk about my best scene in that movie.     But Dexxe, why talk about it when you can just upload the scene for us to just look at it without your biasness or exaggeration?    Well, that is a good question. Thank you for asking. First of all I have a dead end computer, playing music is a challenge let alone editing a 480p video. I once tried installing a video editing so

GOOD MORNING? REALLY?

    So I open my eyes to find my 18 YO sister hovering over my face and in the middle of telling me a story.! I blink, to confirm that I am not dreaming then realise that I am not because I can smell my saliva filled pillow. I sit up and look at her. She is still talking and gesturing about something . I can't quite hear her, my ears were still waking up! So as I waited for the white noise to disappear and switch on hearing mode I wondered to myself Shouldn't people be first woken up then given a story? Or was it NOT necessarily  in that order? What is the fucking time? Looks like 9 am, when my analunga dream starts? And what the hell are you doing outta school     I decide to ask her the latter. The white noise stopped when she stopped her animated story! Wow. So she was the one making the noise? Fascinating! So why was she not in boarding school were we had hid her? Did they burn the school again? Did they strike again? Lord forbid, are they on a midterm break? Luckily I reme

Air Sex Championships

ARE WE WHAT WE DREAM?

    I had a weird dream today! Not last night. Today. Because I only sleep in the morning. I find it hard to sleep before midnight so that sort of translates to: I never sleep at night. Just mornings!! Morning to me is from 0000hrs by the way. Anyway, the dream. Like I said (where?) it is very inexplicable. I feel like of late when I fall asleep I am not enjoying my own beauty sleep but someone else's. I am sleeping on behalf of people. Or I am sleeping for people. I do not even get which it is. I happen not to know these people ( unfortunately) but I get to choose them. So its pretty random. Its like I sleep there and get displayed a scrolling list then I go like 'lets try this'. And when I get bored I just come out of the dream and choose another. Today however, I got stuck in the freaking dream and it got very uncomfortable.     I dreamt (as someone else) that we were about to con a certain rich fat man in order to steal his money. The plan was going very well . As well

ONLINE GAMING

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Before I continue, I want to mention a certain expression I heard Even a broken clock is correct twice a day The outer literal meaning of this phrase is that if a clock stops working at , say. 11.30 it will be right twice a day. Since there is 11.30 am and 11.30 pm. The rest of the times it will be wrong. I looked at this expression and found it to be not all that truthful so i decided to tweak it a little a broken clock is correct all the time The literal meaning of my phrase is that if that same clock breaks at ,say, 11.30 ( again? Where is this clock from? China?), it will always give the correct time at a certain timezone in the world. At this moment there is a place on this earth that the time reads 11.30 if you use those timezone differences thingies we learnt in geography, hence a broken clock is correct every time. I havent worked out the inner metaphorical meaning of this phrase yet. But why should I do everything, let someone else come up with that one. Turtles by Adam Bowman

CLICK HERE TO MANAGE YOUR ADDICTIONS

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     Someone once said that the true definition of the nature of addiction , lies phonetically within the word itself - A Dick in Action. This is probably the same retard that said that if you assume then you make an ass out of u   and me . I think this guy was addicted to making up funny etymologies.      Someone else defined an addiction as a habit that one cannot easily quit. This is one whack definition. It implies that I am addicted to breathing.      Me, the way I see it, an addiction is the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. Of course that is what Dictionary.com also thinks but that is not the point. Point is. There are many types of addictions and everyone has their own kind. Some of which I will expertly categorise for you. Find out where yours lies. Normal-Nasty Addictions You probably have one of this in your home . The

AND NOW, THE NEWS

     Normally I do not watch the news because, lets face it, its all fake. I would rather watch a hollywod flick because at least they dont lie and say its real. Today however I needed a distraction as I ate my wondefully cooked ugali. There were some interesting stories      The headlines were about a scare that got the many (stupid) of us very scared. Someone had started a rumour that if you recieve a call from a certain unknown number you will die instantly. As if that is not enough, majority of us went on to believe such fuckery and asked the government for help ( like we always do) . So the government has declared it illegal to spread such fallacies and those caught will be done to somehting. I dont remember what exactly will be done. I was laughing so hard I almost choked.     Next on the line up was on the census issue. We ( me, you and the government) have been unable to explain the Somali count. They have tripled since the last censors. The government gave us the possibility o

THE 5 STAGES OF WAKING UP

    Remember back in high school when waking up was a split second thing? Because the deputy headteacher or whoever would come inside the dorms whacking everybody with a metal rod if the siren (read bell, if you were in a slightly good school) stopped wailing and you are still in bed. The sound of the siren would start a chain reaction in your body causing your adrenaline to spike up at 5 am in the freaking morning. You would get out of bed, stop dreaming put on the shoes ( you slept in your uniform), open  your eyes then run to class. And not necessarily in that order. Man , years after finishing high school a siren still drains my adrenaline.     If you never had such an experience, then you must have gone to an expensive school. Or you are the few lot that set an alarm clock to wake you earlier than the siren so that no surprises and no waste of adrenaline which you would use later to run away from those senior bullies during Beef Tuesday.     Anyway, now there is no that stress and